Hello Friends,
Yesterday, I discussed holiday self-care ideas and the importance of self-care during the holidays. Part of that was setting boundaries. There are so many dinners, parties, opportunities, and events during this time of year. It is easy to spread yourself too thin. So today, I will help you decipher what should make your priority list and what you should politely say no to this holiday season.
I have created a simple flowchart for you! You can use it when deciding whether to say no or yes to each invite and opportunity this holiday season. But before you go straight to work on that, let’s break it down a little further to make sure we are all on the same page.
Does this promote and support your well-being? Some things to consider here are: Will you encounter any triggers? (large crowds, difficult conversations, people from your past, etc.) Will the people around you help fill you up, or will it just be draining? Will you be doing an activity that supports and promotes your well-being? Like walking outside, spending time with loved ones, being part of your community, etc.?
Are you obligated to attend? Christmas dinner with your family and your office work party may be obligations that you can not say no to. However, your second cousin’s nephew’s best friend’s third-grade Christmas pageant may be one you can pass on. Evaluate each unique situation and be honest with yourself on whether or not there is truly an obligation for you to attend.
Will it bring you joy? You are supposed to enjoy the holidays, my friends. They are not a time to run yourself through the mud trying to make everyone else happy. So if attending something is not going to bring you joy and you can go fairly unmissed skipping it, say no. If you are unsure whether something would bring you joy, ask yourself if you would rather be at home in your jammies, curled up with a festive treat, watching a holiday movie. If you choose jammies, say no to the invite and mark that night as booked in your calendar to just chill in your pjs.
Are you gaining anything from attending? I know this time of year is supposed to be about helping others. However, we often forget to prioritize ourselves because of this. So I am here to remind you and help you remember that your enjoyment and gain matter too. Some examples of ways you could benefit from attending could include spending quality time with a loved one, feeling fulfilled from helping others, enjoying a really delicious meal, etc.
Do you have the capacity to attend? The holidays are a crazy time and can be draining. If you have three holiday dance recitals already packed into your calendar for the week, you may not have the capacity for a fourth by the time Friday rolls around. It is all about being proactive to ensure you aren’t spreading yourself too thin and can enjoy the events you choose to attend.
Save the flowchart and keep it somewhere easily accessible. That way you can use it anytime you are pondering whether or not you should *politely* say no to an invite this holiday season.
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Until tomorrow, My Friends!
P.S. I’m proud of you 😉