Hello Friends,
We should all make a better habit of remembering to check-in on those we love. However, it is especially important during the holiday season. It may look like someone is holding it together really well when they are struggling on the inside. During the holidays, it is common for people to push down how they are feeling to fit into the mold of how people expect them to feel. So, remembering to check-in on your circle is a meaningful way to show your care and support.
Start a Real Conversation: Starting a conversation about how tough the holidays can be opens up the floor for an honest discussion about how someone is doing during this time. It breaks down the expectation to be full of joy. Try something like “The holidays can be really tough; how have you been doing?”. Or “The holidays are such a busy time of year. What have you been doing to take care of yourself?” or “This holiday season has been difficult for me. How have you been doing?”
Send a message: Checking in on someone doesn’t always have to be “How are you doing?” It can also look like, “I am thinking about you and wanted to let you know I am here for you.” or “I hope you are enjoying the holidays; we should catch up in the new year.” Or “I heard your favourite Christmas song on the radio the other day and thought of you.” Or “I know this time of year is tough for you, sending you so much love.”.
Follow-Up: Sending one message to check in is great. However, following up can really offer the support they may need and show just how much you care. Try, “How have you been holding up?” or “Is there anything more I can do to support you?” or “I hope you are doing okay. I have been thinking about you.”
Offer Specific Support: Often, vague offers for support can be disregarded because they are too general. The person may need help cooking dinner but is afraid it is too much to ask. So instead of saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” try “I am headed to the store, do you need anything? or “I am baking cookies tonight, would you like me to drop some off?” Or if you know they are hosting, try “Would it help if I came early to help set up?” or “Can I bring my famous mac and cheese?”
Respect their Boundaries: If someone doesn’t feel like talking or hanging out, that is okay. They may need time alone to process and work through things right now. Allow them this space and let them know you are there for them whenever they are ready or need you. Sometimes, just knowing someone is there for you and cares makes a world of difference.
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Until Tomorrow, My Friends!
P.S. I’m proud of you 😉