This is officially my last blog post as a 20-year-old. I turn 21 in less than 48 hours, and I am feeling the pressure. Each new age brings new expectations, but even more than that, it highlights the things I have yet to accomplish. As a kid, there are certain ages I had planned out/envisioned. I assumed by 21 I would live on my own and be a real working woman. 21 feels so grown up. Yet here I am, 20 years and 363 days old, and I still live with my parents, don’t have a big girl job or a degree, nor am I on track to get one. Frankly, I am sitting here questioning what I have done in the time other people my age have somehow finished school, gotten jobs, bought houses, started families, and/or travelled around the world.
Then I remember I have spent so much of my life healing. So much time where I wasn’t racking up achievements or savings or new contacts or friends or degrees, but rather fighting to get my life back. So on paper in a resume format, it looks like I really have not done that much. Yet I have worked so hard and grown so much. But personal growth and healing is not something you can put on a resume. So I am left feeling so behind everyone who didn’t have to spend years fighting just to get out of bed and their teeth. Social media makes this all the more difficult by giving me access to a digital account of everyone else on the planet at my age’s highlight reels.
I know I am not the only one feeling this way. It has seemingly become a sort of rite of passage as you enter your twenties to experience this type of “last in the race” feeling. So, in case someone reading this is experiencing something similar, here are some things that have been keeping me from crashing out over it constantly.
- Firstly, muting people on Instagram. This is by far my favourite Instagram feature and you bet I use it to its FULL potential. I am a world-class empath and recovering people pleaser who would feel bad about unfollowing people I know. Even if their posts were making me feel less than or adding to the pressure I put on myself. However, you can stop any creator from popping up on your feed without having to unfollow them. So you can sayonara to the comparison without the guilt of unfollowing them!
- Second, remembering I literally cannot be behind in my life because it is MY life. That would be like telling the sun she is late to the day. The day doesn’t start without the sun. She can never be late, yet she still rises on her own time. You are the sun in your own life. You literally cannot be behind. So try to be patient with yourself and trust your timing and path.
- Finally, trying to enjoy the moment. This one is so hard for me because I just want to get things done. I want to be able to take a sigh of relief and say, “I did it.” I was talking to my mom about this the other day, and she said, “Life already moves so fast, don’t rush it anymore,” and she is so right. There are so many eras in my life I wish I could have stayed in for longer or enjoyed more. Even if I don’t feel that way about the era I am currently living in, there is a good chance I will one day.
Living in the age of social media makes it easy to focus on what you haven’t done, but you’re on your own path. Even if your journey looks different, it’s no less worthwhile. I see your progress, and you should be proud of how far you’ve come!
P.S. I’m proud of you 😉