Hello Lovebug,
If you are reading this, I am guessing you have experienced the living nightmare of anticipatory anxiety about an upcoming trip. Maybe you are in it right now, or you can see the stress train hurtling at you for a trip farther away, or maybe you don’t have any travel booked right now, but just the thought of it fills you with that dread of “what have I gotten myself into”.
I know first hand how difficult it can be. Fun fact about me: often, before a trip, I will get some sort of sudden, random physical symptom because of the anticipatory stress I experience. I have had canker sores, rashes, immense jaw pain, fever, and even a full-on cold. I am sure you are saying “those are all normal things. How do you know they were caused by stress?” Well, it usually starts 2-3 days before I leave and will always be gone within the first 24 hours of being at my destination. I used to have full meltdowns and almost cancel trips because of these seemingly unexplained physical symptoms, but now I name them for what they are: my anticipatory anxiety manifesting itself into a physical symptom. Although I do still get a lot of anxiety from these physical symptoms, it helps me to be able to look at my track record and remember this has happened in various different ways many times before, and every time I have been just fine once I got settled on my trip.
One thing I have found since I started travelling more is that anticipatory stress is often much worse than anything I experience on the trip itself. This is because your nervous system cannot distinguish between what you are actually experiencing and what you are imagining. So when you spend weeks imagining the worst-case scenarios, you are essentially putting your nervous system through those experiences…OF COURSE YOU’RE GOING TO BE STRESSED. It is important to remember that your nervous system is responding to these made-up scenarios, not your gut instinct or intuition telling you not to go. I have often wondered, “What if I am so worried because my body is trying to tell me not to go,” and I am going to hold your hand when I say this, it is not. Your anxiety is lying to you, trying to keep you in your box of comfort, and it is very important that you fight letting your anxiety win this one.
Even after you have named the anxiety for what it is, it can still feel like the worst-case scenarios are absorbing an exorbitant amount of brain space. This is when you know it’s time to dump them. No, not in the “your boyfriend cheated on you, you need to dump him, girl” way, I am talking about a brain dump. My favourite way to do this is to first write down every fear, worry, or what-if I have about the trip. Then I go back to each one, and either disprove it or explain how I would avoid it or cope with it if it were to happen. Example: Worry – “What if I get sick from the germs on the plane?” Disprove – “I know that will not happen because I will disinfect my seat, avoid touching my face and use hand sanitizer before eating”.
To a certain degree, planning and preparation are important and helpful; however, at some point, they can turn into something that feeds your anxiety and actually makes it louder. Checking packing lists, reservations, routes, etc., can quickly go from general prep to reassurance-seeking compulsions. My general rule of thumb is to check 3 times, and if I am still worried, take a video, write myself a note, or have someone else check, and then be done with it.
That being said, something you may want to plan for is the peak anticipatory anxiety, which often hits the night before the trip. Practicing extra grounding and mindfulness leading up to this peak is extremely important and will make it easier to practice when anxiety is at its peak. So I recommend starting a 5+ minute daily grounding or mindfulness practice at the onset of anticipatory anxiety. Some ideas include deep breathing practices such as box breathing, slow movement practices such as yoga or walks, and meditation. Your nervous system will be getting dragged from the back of a car through all sorts of terrain during this time and could use the extra love and attention.
After that lovely description I think it is a great time to remind you that travel is supposed to be exciting. I know firsthand that the week before a trip, it is brutally difficult to feel anything but anxiety. I have always felt a little envious of people who can just look forward to something and be excited without running through every what-if and worst possible scenario with a fine-tooth comb. If I had a penny for every time I wished I could just “be normal” and enjoy things without worrying so much, I could buy my own dang plane. Sometimes it is a hard pill to swallow that my travel experience is so much different than most people’s. However I love to travel and I have learned to appreciate that my nervous system is trying to protect me…even if it makes me a little nutty sometimes.
So instead of hyperfixating on wishing I could change how I am with travel, I have learned to shift my energy into reframing my anxiety into excitement. If you didn’t already know, anxiety and excitement are biologically identical. Literally the only difference between the two is how your brain interprets the emotion. This means you have the power to shift your anxiety into excitement.
One option is what I like to call the replacement thought. Every time a “what if” thought comes into my head, I replace it with an affirmation that shifts me into an excited or grateful state. Example: Worried thought – “What if my room isn’t ready when I get to the hotel, and they can’t hold my bags, and I miss my first excursion?” Replacement thought: “I love getting to see new places and do new things.” If there is something specific you are looking forward to on your trip, I recommend weaving that into your replacement thought and using it to anchor you in excitement and outweigh the anxiety.
My second recommendation is a little bit of self deception. Your brain believes what you tell it, so why not tell it what you want to be true…even if it isn’t fully true YET. At the onset of anticipatory anxiety, I will pick a white lie to repeat to myself consistently for the days leading up to my trip. Examples: “I love flying, planes are so fun,” “Trying new foods excites me,” “I love exploring new places.” I just repeat it over and over until I believe it’s true. In my experience, this one takes some practice but is very effective. If you are struggling to believe the statement to be true, try believing it for a future version of yourself. Just because it is not true for you now doesn’t mean it can’t be true for a later version of yourself.
At the end of the day the memories made on the trip are always worth the pre-travel anxiety so hang in there lovebug! I will be spilling all the tips to surviving travel with anxiety this summer so make sure you follow me and subscribe so you never miss a thing,
Until next week lovebug!
P.S. I’m proud of you 😉